'He wouldn't stop singing Hamilton': Top 30 Funniest Reasons People Dumped Their Exes

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    Gesture - "What's the weirdest reason you've broken up with someone?"
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    Font - SouthSideSurvivor. 5 days ago He talked so fast that I often couldn't understand him. When I would ask him to please talk slower, he would talk LOUDER. But justasfast. 11.2k Reply Share
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    Font - sparksgirl1223. 5 days ago My ex-husband did the opposite (?). That mf mumbled so much that I can now understand Ozzy Osbourne without subtitles 6.2k Reply
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    Font - Scottyflamingo 5 days ag edited 3 days ago 2 & 3 More . . She smelled like soup. *Edit: I never would have believed my top rated comment ever would be a "So I Married An Axe Murderer" reference. 10.2k Reply Sh
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    Font - toreadorable 5 days ago In the early 2010ish era I was in college and went out for Halloween. And met a guy dressed as a pirate that looked like Johnny Depp dressed as a pirate, it was the era of those movies. We started dating and I realized he looked like a pirate 24/7/365 and I couldn't handle it. 9.2k Reply Share
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    Font - Isolated PSup 5 days ago She thought she got the answer to the crossword, when it was actually me 8.9k Reply Share
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    Font - Wake95 5 days ago Her dog was teaching my dog to howl at sirens. 8.8k Reply Share
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    Rectangle - paintman01 5 days ago . She threw garbage out my truck window while driving down the road. First date-last date. 8.8k Reply Share
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    Font - Minix22 5 days ago 2 We had an argument about the way the world works. I thought it worked as a globe he thought it worked as a pancake. 8.2k Reply Share
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    Rectangle - CalmAsYouAre . 5 days ago He had the same name as my dad and I couldn't get over it. 7.8k Reply Share
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    Font - Pristine-Chain4612. 5 days ago 1 year in she told me she was literally an angel. Sad to say there was A LOT about her wasn't heaven sent 6.7k Reply Share
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    Font - LookMaNoPride 5 days ago edited 5 days ago She would speak French to herself in the mirror at home, and then she would do it at restaurants thinking it made her sound I guess? I don't know. Here's the thing.... She knew not one word of French. She had no desire to learn a single word of French. She just spoke gibberish that sounded VAGUELY like French. She was a full grown woman in her late 20s. College degree and a job. She started doing it around the second month into our relationship.
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    Font - Mcshiggs 5 days ago F Never wanted to get tacos ↑ 6.0k ↓ Total-Potato 5 days ago Ⓒ2 & 4 More Reply Share . 5.8k Probably Nacho' type of girl Reply Share
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    Font - hunnyjo 5 days ago His feet smelled. I mean so bad. They were so bad one night I thought the bed. Wasn't he going to go the long haul with that. 4.8k Reply Share
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    Font - TheoreticalFunk. 5 days ago She broke up with me and tried to argue with me about it for four days. I kept telling her that she broke up with me and she kept saying "Yeah but, don't you want me?" Not if you don't want me. Why are we still talking? Go away, you suck. 4.1k Reply Share
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    Rectangle - Natural-Ad2924 5 days ago He had posture & hands like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons 4.0k ↓ Reply Share
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    Rectangle - AldoRaineClone - 5 days ago Thought microwaving a piece of leftover pizza needed four minutes. 3.9k Reply Share
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    Font - BellOutOfOrder - 5 days ago Officially, the fight was because we disagreed about how to butter toast but that built into a bigger fight in which... me: ".. blah blah fighting words... if you'd just stop being so ambiguous about it..." her: (sobbing) "See!? See what I mean? You make me feel so stupid. I don't know what amgibuous means." I'm not proud, but at that very moment I knew I needed to end the engagement. (in reality, we were fighting all the time about dumb but this was the that b
  • 19
    Font - kperpapman 5 days ago I wouldn't say break up, because it was only the 2nd date. We went to go see one of the Avengers movies, which I was really excited for. The guy and I had seemingly been hitting it off after our initial meet up and a few weeks of phone banter. He's talking and asking questions during the movie, which is fine, not a big deal, but then he leans in and tells me how comfortable he is around me and wants to know if I'd be okay with putting him in a diaper. (Hard nope for
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    Font - itspoodle_07 5 days ago I got dumped for making her feel like she couldn't be included in conversation because we were all too smart. We're all dumb as 2.2k Reply Share
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    Font - danhaas 5 days ago Flat earther. 2.0k Reply Share
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    Font - . DesignerTex 5 days ago I found out they were imaginary. I can't be seen in public with someone like that. ↑ 1.9k ↓ Reply Share
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    Font - financialfreeabroad 5 days ago. edited 4 days ago Gave me a dirty bowl after cooking food for me at her place. She said it wasn't dirty... but I cleaned it and showed her it was. Can't do gross. 1.8k Reply Share
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    Font - Tamarlaine 5 days ago She insisted that the phrase where two options were basically the same was "8 of one half dozen of another". I told her it was 6 which is a half dozen. She told me you say it your way I'll say it mine. ↑ 1.7k ↓ Reply Share
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    Font - 16 totallybuggin88 - 5 days ago Buckle up. One time I went on a hike with my boyfriend at the time. It was a double date. I looked up the weather and knew to pack two water bottles for myself as I dehydrate easily. So I start pacing myself drinking my first water. My boyfriend then reaches into my backpack and takes out the other water and just chugs it. Immediately. I didn't say anything because I figured maybe I could handle one water bottle. The hike progresses and he keeps saying "I w
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    Font - nbd9000 5 days ago She wouldnt brush her teeth. It was gross. A real shame, because she was super cute otherwise. ↑ 1.7k ↓ Reply Share
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    Font - buckeyemountain 5 days ago She squeezed a disgusting amount of mustard in her hand then ate it ↑ 1.5k ↓ Reply Share
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    Font - Opr9r 5 days ago She constantly said "chip-ol-tay" instead of Chipotle. True sad story 1.4k Reply Share
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    Font - YeHedgepigge. 5 days ago He wouldn't stop singing hamilton 1.2k Reply Share
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    Font - Detective_Bonghitz. 5 days ago My one friend broke up with a girl because she poured the milk in before the cereal ↑ 1.1k Reply Share
  • 31
    Font - del MadProfessor 20 - 5 days ago She passed me on the road and accused me of cheating on her because she saw a girl in my truck. That girl was my 6'6" tall brother with a full freakin beard and a buzz cut. At that moment I realized she was definitely on the low side of the Vickie Mendoza Diagonal. 1.1k Reply Share

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